Let's Talk Peritoneal Dialysis!

Hey, I'm Jason. I'm a chronically-ill-super-freedom-loving-medical-self-journalist.

On Gratitude and Humility

Without question, it has been an incredible few weeks. To think that we’re not even getting up to speed yet is daunting, and incredible. I’ve been feeling great lately; so much so it’s hard to believe I was in the hospital just a couple of weeks ago. To add to that, I just deleted part of this post that was predicting my daughter’s birth to replace it with this: We’re going to the hospital tonight, Violet is coming. I Wear Your Shirt

Looking back carefully, I recently discovered a pattern in my behavior. (It may be a human trait, so that you’ve got it too, but I never studied you – so I can’t say.) The days following my release from the hospital were relaxed and uncomplicated. The idea that dialysis was coming set in quite easily. I held onto an idea that since I was categorized as sick, I probably wasn’t supposed to feel good. As time has passed, I have become less attached to that feeling. My ankles aren’t swollen at all anymore. There’s no pain over my kidney transplant. I feel great.

And so it went, I felt better and quickly settled back into my routine. I started enjoying more and worrying less about how I was feeling. Which is great … if you’re not looking for a transplant. But I am. I took my health and ran away from this blog for a while. This is the pattern, it’s this ‘everything’s groovy now, no worries’ attitude, post-hospital-stay thing. It’s hard to resist the draw towards a life in which I don’t experience a health problem on a daily basis. It’s easy to step aside for a bit.

So the blog suffered. This blog, this monumental push towards a fantastic goal, is as much of a moment of brilliance in my life as it is the largest marker of what I’m trying to overcome. It was easy to forget about it for a moment.

So, with that admission, it is all the more momentous to learn that my community stepped in for me while I was away.

The Vice President of my parent’s company snagged a really cool thing. Kirsten managed to capture an elusive empty spot on the calendar of I Wear Your Shirt, the brain trust of Jason Sadler. Mr. Sadler will be wearing a t-shirt with my blog address on it this Sunday during his flight from LA to NYC where he will wear my tshirt in Times Square.

Another member of my parent’s team, though a former one, Jan Andrew also contributed to the effort. She hosts a blog and wrote about my story. I was fascinated to hear another writer describe my story and my presentation. It’s a weird and enlightening thing to be quoted, even when it’s quoting something I wrote myself. Please take a visit to the entry she posted.

Without friends and community, my drift away from my reality could have been a setback. Perhaps people would assume that I no longer needed a kidney since I wasn’t posting anymore – I suppose that’s possible. Or maybe without the help of others I wouldn’t have been nudged oh-so slightly back onto this blog. Truly, how could I not write about these people in my life who are literally my saviors? Without them, I would be lost. Oh, and I include you in that category. Every time you click the link to visit me, you keep me going. I watch those stats with amazement. Who knew you would all come to visit?

Thank you. Now, let’s go have that baby. Photos to come tomorrow!

One comment on “On Gratitude and Humility

  1. Hildegard
    August 6, 2009

    I look forward to seeing photos of your beautiful new daughter Violet! Congratulations!

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This entry was posted on August 4, 2009 by in Uncategorized.
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